At precisely 8:05
Doctor Frederick Von Meyer
Will attempt his famous dive
Through a solid sheet of luminescent fire.
In the centre of the ring
They are torturing a bear
And although he cannot sing
We can make him whistle Londonderry Air.
And the price is right
The cost of one admission is your mind.
We shall shortly institute
A synopticon of fear
While it's painful, it will suit
Many customers whose appetites are queer.
Or for those who wish to pay
There are children you can bleed
In a most peculiar way
We can give you all the instruments you'll need.
And the price is right,
The cost of one admission is your mind.
If you're harder yet to please
We have most delightful dreams;
Our recorders will preserve
The intensity and passion of your screams.
For we only aim to please;
It's our customers who gain.
As their appetites increase
They must come to us for pleasure and for pain.
And the price is right
The cost of one admission is your mind.